Stand Firm: Resisting The Self-Improvement Craze
This book has a rather provocative title, probably that’s why it grabbed my attention, and I decided to buy it to see what does the author actually mean by “Self-Improvement Craze”. I mean, who doesn’t want to improve himself?
Table of Contents
As it turned out, this book has nothing against self-improvement per se. Instead, it questions the most notorious ideas of various self-improvement movements. Those ideas may look appealing if you don’t pay enough attention to their consequences, but they can do more harm than good.
The author tries to “invert” many popular mottoes of the self-improvement movements to show us that the opposite of those ideas may have much more sense. Here are a few examples I found interesting:
Cut Out The Navel-Gazing
One of the distinctive features of our time is everyone’s obsession with the idea of self. People are constantly trying to find out whom they really are and to reach the highest level of self realization. That’s an admirable effort but what makes us so sure that the answer is inside us? Maybe it is the case that self-analysis can be harmful?
The author mentions the health paradox as an example: more medical attention often makes us feel worse. Getting medical help feeds our obsession with self-diagnosis which leads us to false conclusions about our health. Is it possible that “search of the true self” can be as dangerous as receiving unnecessary medical treatment?
Focus on The Negative
What can be worse than death? Well, I saw a few attempts to imagine a worse situation. For instance, one guy said that it’s much worse to die if your enemies are still alive than to die after them. Apart from such clever attempts to imagine something worse than the death itself, we can safely assume that death is a very negative and inevitable event in every person’s life. We try to avoid it by any means necessary, and we also try not to think about it too much.
Should we ever think about such a negative event? The author sides with the stoics in thinking that the focus on the negative events is not necessarily a bad thing. Thinking about the things we may lose can help us to set our priorities straight and to appreciate things that we have now because we might lose them at any moment.
Suppress Your Feelings
The author makes a good point in writing that people that are always positive may seem insincere. Another problem is the idea that we should always express our feelings. Self-help gurus like to use children as an example of “proper” attitude to life. Children tend to express their emotions freely, be positive and optimistic about the future, and they are usually a good example of “living in a moment”. There are many issues with that:
- No one likes the adults who behave like the bad-tempered babies. It seems like people are becoming more infantile, thanks to the bad advice of self-help gurus.
- Our feelings are not who we are. They just come and go, there is nothing wrong with suppressing our feelings.
- Looking forward is great, but there are a lot of things we can learn from looking back.
This book offers a good introduction into the stoic philosophy as a tool that helps people to stay sane in this crazy and ever-changing world. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who feels stressed by the pressure to keep up with everything in life or feels the pressure to conform to any of those popular new ideas of the self-help gurus.